Dimitar Berbatov has teased Tottenham and delighted dancing girls. Now he has finally settled down. Manchester can be so moody in May. The incumbent is pregnant. Elena’s black Mercedes already has one of those baby-on-board stickers. She zips around Sofia like Stoichkov. Explosive, fast and unpredictable. Legs right up to her fanny. Daniela and Tedi are jealous. Sofia whispers. It’s the life of a modern footballer.
Lal Hardy, his tattoo artist in North London, swears up and down the No. 9 is a man of impeccable character and standing. UNICEF has bestowed an ambassadorship on the Bulgarian captain. And Sir Alex seems both pleased and nonplussed at the same time.
Author: David Patrick Lane
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C’mon You Boys in Green – Ireland 2010
We continue our look at European qualifiers. Group 8 next. (No Georgia in South Africa, their campaign tripped up by two overlapping Russian full backs, Sergei Ossetia and Igor Abkhazia. Meanwhile, substitute Joe Biden has promised to help Georgia maintain their shape in future fixtures.)
Moving on from Iceland and up the index of heavily indebted and bank bollixed Western European nations, we turn to the Republic of Ireland.
Is there a term in the Gaeltacht for Catenaccio? Does the Irish captain drink Jammy Donuts? It seems applying classic football nomenclature or the current cult of celebrity to the Irish team somehow misses the point.
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The Equalizer
One can wonder what kind of a football manager Alexander the Great would have made. What Xs and Os would he have drawn up to conquer Scotland and Norway in September? And which Chinese conglomerate would he have used to carve his way through the Kalahari and into South Africa in 2010?
Macedonia recently had a manager with some Iskander-like qualities.
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Norway’s Struggle
[David Patrick Lane, writing from Liverpool, is working his way through the European qualifiers for the World Cup in South Africa. Last week he reviewed Scotland‘s chances. This week it’s Norway. Next week, Macedonia]
Lurking in dead last place in Europe’s Group 9 is Norway.
Winless: Three points accumulated through three grinding draws. Toothless: Two goals scored, both at home in their opening fixture against Iceland. South Africa may seem further away than usual to supporters in Spitsbergen.
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When Scotland Win the World Cup
Great World Cups are often remembered as much for what happens off the pitch as what happens on the pitch. The pageantry and passion of supporters can be as memorable as the skill and performances of players.
Scottish qualification would go a long way to ensuring a successful South Africa 2010.
Recalcitrant Scottish tribes pumping through the arteries of Pretoria, their bestial roars still powerful enough to send shivers down the spines of long dead Roman Legionnaires. (Note to the BBC, CNN, AP and Reuters: Europe has tribes too.) The Free State Stadium in Bloemfontein booming to the tune of Scotland the Brave.